last few thoughts

Ok, so these aren´t really thoughts rather just a couple bits of info that I would like to share with you all.

First off, in case you had no clue, Germany is stuck a little bit in the 80´s... maybe more A Lot in the 80´s. I´m mainly talking about the music but there are a couple of other things as well. I first noticed this when I was driving into ludwigsburg, and a grown man (like in his 50´s) in a convertable with the top down had Maddona´s ´Material Girl´playing (blasting) out of his sterio. Not only was he not scrambling to change the station, but I swear I saw his head bobbing along! This kind of happened again when I was going to Switzerland one of those first weekend´s I was here. One of the guys we were with requested a radio station stop at another Madonna song and started singing along (this from a man who wore sporty capri pants hiking! - yes, Europe is different) Now that it is Christmas time the Wham! song `Last Christmas´ is not a guilty pleasure, but rather a song I hear played on nearly every radio station. It´s great. Back in the states, I heard the song first when Ali played it for me sophmore year. There was a bit of hiding everytime I played it, but now I don´t have to hide anymore... Yes, I do like the song. Yes, I do sing along to it. Yes, I do embrace the 80´s. Other than that Jon Bon Jovi is another radio regular, along with Phil Collins and Genesis, and Simply Red... got to love it.

The second thing I felt like bringing up was my favorite movie of all time. I watched ´Father of the Bride´with Sabine a couple of nights ago, and it is still at the top of the list. I don´t know exactly what it is, but it just is a great story about family and growing up, and it has been pertinant at all points in my life... Having a great dad myself, makes the story hit even closer to home :) Even though some things in the story seem a little more far fetched than they used to, it still remains on of my favoites!

Well there´s litterally no more time before I go back to California. I leave tomorrow morning, and I still cannot believe it. Sabine and Reimund took today off work, so I am headed into Munich to surpise Erin and her family at the airport as they arrive to celebrate their christmas over here. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

winter wonderland

Over the weekend I was able to experience some great German holiday traditions. First off, the Weihnachtsmarkts (Christmas Markets) are huge here. Every town/city has one no matter how big or small the town actually is. I have been to the Ludwigsburg one a number of times, and this weekend I got to experience the Stuttgart one. They are both very special, though the Stuttgart one is MUCH bigger. At the markets you can find all sorts of holiday gifts, some nice, some kitschy and hand made, along with traditional foods…sausages in bread, fish cooked over an open fire, candied almonds and nuts, chocolate covered fruit, gingerbread hearts that have sayings on them, damfnudels which are these steamed cakes covered in vanilla sauce… the list goes on and on, but by far the biggest tradition at Christmas is the gluhwein. It is this hot, strong spiced wine that is only served this time of year. The only thing is that it’s not that cold. There is no snow yet, and while we may have had a few frosty nights, the days are still tending to be well above 0 Celsius. People are saying the gluhwein doesn’t taste the same and it just doesn’t feel like Christmas. The weather isn’t so much affecting the Christmas spirit for me seeing as that I am not used to a white Christmas… but I do keep thinking about how the later winter starts the later it will last (I don’t think it really got warm here last year until June!).

Anyhow, over the weekend I went to the Stuttgart Weihnachtsmarkt with the family and we went ice-skating at the rink set up outside. Now I haven’t ice skated in YEARS, but I didn’t fall down once, yay me :) though to be fair I wasn’t attempting light speeds or intense tricks… (pict below) After that I met my group of British friends for gluhwein tasting and Indian food afterwards (see pict above). Every stall makes it very different, and the ones that tasted the best were those that were not too sweet or strong and had a fruitier flavor. Anyhow, it was a fun filled day that was enjoyed with sun and a shocking 15 degrees!!

breaking up is hard to do

I´ve been here for more than three months now, which officially marks the longest amount of time I have spent away from my home country. As I enter this fourth month of living in Germany and as my first trip back to the states approaches, I feel like I should express my feelings about my time here so far; so bear with me...

I have been trying to find a way to express how I feel about going home. The first thing I came up with is that I don´t feel that I´ve done enough to warrant a trip home, even though I moved half way across the world and have been to 6 countries in the past four months (by the way, how cool is that?). That isn´t just it though, there was something else... and then it dawned upon me this morning that leaving the states was kind of like breaking up with a boyfriend (or girlfriend). The first couple months are hard, and you keep thinking about how it used to be, and feeling like you want to go back. But you have to keep your life moving forward, and somehow it seems to hurt a little less each week. Finally you come to a point where it´s a little awkward because you realize that the person/place that you knew so well, and were at one point so comfortable with, seems more or less like a stranger now; the time and distance has taken a toll on the relationship and you´ve just grown apart. You´ve known all along you can´t go back, but now you don´t really want to.

I realize the expamle may be a little extreme, and I know that I can always go back if I want to, but sometimes a year really can seem like a lifetime. I do still miss everyone back home, and the places too, but the life I lead there seems a little less familiar all the time. What I´m doing now is my life, and I think that is what I am coming to accept. There are still days and entire weeks, where I just don´t think I can be an au pair for 8 more months. But then when it comes to actually think about leaving, I don´t want to give up hope just yet, or the friends that I have made here. I know that I came here for a reason, and I´ve made this big leap, so I owe it to myself to stick it out and see what happens.

With all that said, I am really looking forward to seeing everyone over Christmas, and I know that it will be REALLY hard to leave, but at the same time it might not seem right to stay...